As I drive home I think of my surroundings
I see storms ahead and beside me.
The lightning bouncing off the clouds
to punctuate the turmoil all around.
Yet as I listen to what is being sung to me
with words that almost seem meant just for me.
I am reminded to let go and stay all in for Jesus and His plan.
The lights in front just show the road and the next steps that I can take.
And as I look upward to see the stars, in the clear pocket of night.
I see the brilliance of nature magnifying my Lord's might.
and I am told that it is not by anything that I have done, or even who I am.
But that it all is about who HE is.
As I am reminded about who He is and and what the I AM and always will be, is and means to me.
I sit and smile at my surroundings as peace washes over me.
For I know that even though I look at the Surroundings, that in my journey I am right where I need to be.
(written after a drive home from work on June 25th)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Questions bouncing around in my mind.
My blog title is conversations in my mind, and true enough those happen quite often, but now, I have only 15 minutes or so for this thought, but I want to get it out to allow myself to explore the meanings and ideas as they come.
I have always been fascinated and bent on thinking through and looking at relationships and love. More so the way that people interact and how they look to and often times stop themselves from attaining what they truly want by tweaking the situation just enough to throw it off kilter.
So while reading the Shack by WM Paul Young (great and fascinating book whether to read or sit contemplate and discect) I continue to come across simple lines that stand out and hit me like a ton of bricks, maybe youll get a sampling of those later. But this one brings about a question.
Pg 149 Jesus- “It is so simple, but never easy for you” (in relation to how to get out of the cycle
of trying to be out own god and lead and succeed and make things happen for me, accomplish something)
Why do simple things come so hard for us? For me?
All the time that I try to assist others with my goofy sense of logic about how a situation is going and should go, and the steps that need to be taken to relax and let things happen, I cannot in reality take my own advice.
I feel like I am in a third plane, or at least looking on in third person and saying yes I know and get that, it is what I long to do, what I want to do, what I should do. Yet when looking to translate the simplicity of what I know is needed, my actions and worldly life take me in a different way that is not quite the sames.
Why do we inject fear into everything?
We/I worry. A lot. We would rather project our own thoughts into the situation, playing out every possible outcome and overthinking and working ourselves up to the point where the knowledge we have about the situation and our present spot get thrown to the back burner.
Why to we live for the future (worry) ?
We give ourselves a license to worry and question. Holding on to the possibilities and “necessities” 10 years down the road is a common place. We are so caught up with what we SHOULD be doing, we forget all the things we ARE doing, or CAN be doing. And how often do these fears of what we could or should be doing paralyze us and end up hurting us more than what we are “not” doing.
Why do I long for control?
I try to give up what I can, and what I will do, its what I want to do, surrender to God's will. But my failure to live every moment in Christ, and figure out how to be in relationship and trust in the acquired knowledge about my God, relates to the fact that I cannot surrender and I continue to live trusting in what I can do.
Why do the abstract feel right but feel out of touch?
I “KNOW” more than I implement. I understand and my soul cries out to do things I hear and read and feel about my God but I do not trust enough to allow them to seem possible. I would rather keep that sense of control than walk by faith.
Why do I like the “easy” road?
Are not the harder roads the more satisfying once accomplished? What is it about the not easy part that brings me to a stand still as I stand at crossroads? What do I fear, and where can and how can and whose love will cast out the fear to a place where I move in the right direction.
Why is it easy to see and sense these questions when they come up, yet are shoved so far below the surface once things begin to happen?
Why do mentalities shift so easily?
It is not just the ability to shift from church mode into “life” mode but burying the great thoughts and ideas and seeing them be totally outside your mind hours later. It frustrates me
OOOOh life, how you interest me and make me think, at least every now and then.
I have always been fascinated and bent on thinking through and looking at relationships and love. More so the way that people interact and how they look to and often times stop themselves from attaining what they truly want by tweaking the situation just enough to throw it off kilter.
So while reading the Shack by WM Paul Young (great and fascinating book whether to read or sit contemplate and discect) I continue to come across simple lines that stand out and hit me like a ton of bricks, maybe youll get a sampling of those later. But this one brings about a question.
Pg 149 Jesus- “It is so simple, but never easy for you” (in relation to how to get out of the cycle
of trying to be out own god and lead and succeed and make things happen for me, accomplish something)
Why do simple things come so hard for us? For me?
All the time that I try to assist others with my goofy sense of logic about how a situation is going and should go, and the steps that need to be taken to relax and let things happen, I cannot in reality take my own advice.
I feel like I am in a third plane, or at least looking on in third person and saying yes I know and get that, it is what I long to do, what I want to do, what I should do. Yet when looking to translate the simplicity of what I know is needed, my actions and worldly life take me in a different way that is not quite the sames.
Why do we inject fear into everything?
We/I worry. A lot. We would rather project our own thoughts into the situation, playing out every possible outcome and overthinking and working ourselves up to the point where the knowledge we have about the situation and our present spot get thrown to the back burner.
Why to we live for the future (worry) ?
We give ourselves a license to worry and question. Holding on to the possibilities and “necessities” 10 years down the road is a common place. We are so caught up with what we SHOULD be doing, we forget all the things we ARE doing, or CAN be doing. And how often do these fears of what we could or should be doing paralyze us and end up hurting us more than what we are “not” doing.
Why do I long for control?
I try to give up what I can, and what I will do, its what I want to do, surrender to God's will. But my failure to live every moment in Christ, and figure out how to be in relationship and trust in the acquired knowledge about my God, relates to the fact that I cannot surrender and I continue to live trusting in what I can do.
Why do the abstract feel right but feel out of touch?
I “KNOW” more than I implement. I understand and my soul cries out to do things I hear and read and feel about my God but I do not trust enough to allow them to seem possible. I would rather keep that sense of control than walk by faith.
Why do I like the “easy” road?
Are not the harder roads the more satisfying once accomplished? What is it about the not easy part that brings me to a stand still as I stand at crossroads? What do I fear, and where can and how can and whose love will cast out the fear to a place where I move in the right direction.
Why is it easy to see and sense these questions when they come up, yet are shoved so far below the surface once things begin to happen?
Why do mentalities shift so easily?
It is not just the ability to shift from church mode into “life” mode but burying the great thoughts and ideas and seeing them be totally outside your mind hours later. It frustrates me
OOOOh life, how you interest me and make me think, at least every now and then.
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