Wow. As interesting as it is to try to formulate a comprehensive idea on how being back home in Chicago is compared to being in Northern Ireland within 24 hrs of being home is, I am going to try.
I have traded in the seaside, rolling hills and mountains in my daily view for the concrete suburban skyline. I have traded living in a Manor house on a nature reserve for a basement room, or sharing a bed on the floor with my brother. I have traded 6 days a week of working with youth or playing soccer with Northern Irish for figuring out when and where to meet up with friends and catch up and do life together. I have traded in skyping video chats at 1am with my girlfriend to texts, phone calls, and soon 10 amazing days together.
But none of that really is reality. Nothing of this transition for 5 weeks that will again be done in the reverse, defines me. For me so often I have base truths of who I am and how those impact me lead to a definition of home and purpose in my present situation.
I am Bryan Miller. Bryan is defined by a life lived outloud and purposed for connections, conversations, and challenges. Bryan is loved by the Creator GOD who loves and gives me mercy. Bryan has gifts given that want to be utilized. So Bryan being me, is at home when able to be used for God's glory in my present situation.
That is my thought at the moment. While the exterior and external place has changed, my longing stays the same. I want to hold fast to my base. To the Truth that God loves me, and that he calls me to be bold in that knowledge and make connections, build discussion in conversation and challenge people as well as myself.
I have been humbled by messages from both sides of the Atlantic in the last week as people are excited for me and are looking forward to my return either to Chicago or County Down. God is good and I know that I am who I am because of Him. His grace and gifting allows me to make the relationships I have.
I cannot wait to see what God has in store for this break, the stories I get to relate and the ability to learn more from this step of the journey God has for me. I get to speak and stand for Truth no matter where I am. I can ask tough questions or give answers when asked no matter where I am. I will look for ways to serve and ways to help others, from a friendly smile, opening of a door, or hours of help in any way.
I know that my path is in HIS mighty and loving hands. I cannot wait to share life with you and those around me. He is Good, His love Endures forever. I am humbled by my opportunities and look forward with anticipation to the chapters that are still to be written.
Thanks for being a part of some of the steps I've taken!
Bryan
"For God so loved the WORLD that he gave his one and only Son to save us while we were yet still sinners."
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Friday, December 3, 2010
Life is going well!
Hey all, if you dont feel like reading my in-depth thoughts and musings of my brain and heart here is a more light hearted update!
I am doing well, battled through some sinus infection type stuff in the past month but am enjoying the autumn and into winter months here in Northern Ireland. God has brought teachings, growing relationships, discussions and readings to me that has grown and got me thinking and ready for each next step!
Whether that is a conversation with a searching teenager, an apathetic hurting 14 yr old, an angry and confused lad, a goofy carefree teammate, or a challenge to be better and more responsible by my fellow workers I can meet them and learn from them.
God is good and has given me a lot to look at and think on, and people to enjoy the ride with. I love discussions, and that is what I wanted to bring in my experience here. I want to talk, learn think and discuss all facets of life, being as real as possible and as open as I can be in my thoughts to people so that I am clear and transparent.
I am excited in the now 4!!! months that I have had to learn names, stories, and personalities that I get to call friends here. I know that the next step to come will be another great opportunity to grow, learn and challenge myself with. I want to help ppl challenge their views. To grow, to grow up, to grow in wisdom, to grow in the LORD. If i can help enact that all glory to God. I just want to be a vessel used for purposes beyond myself.
I have loved learning more about Christ, how the world thinks and how I should think and challenge the world with the Love and Truth of Christ the Creator Crucified. It is humbling and just the thoughts and growth I have prayed for. Now to graft into life continuing in the states during this break and plans for the future as well!
Drop me a line!! Let me discuss with you! What is new in your life? What is challenging you?
God Bless. Merry Christmas time!! Remember that the Creator became Immanuel, God with us, in this time, and changed human history forever!
Bryan, Bmilla, Bmill, Millsy, Miller, Mill, B, Bruce, Bry, Mighty Mouse, and hopefully also a growing servant of our Lord Jesus Christ.
:):):)
I am doing well, battled through some sinus infection type stuff in the past month but am enjoying the autumn and into winter months here in Northern Ireland. God has brought teachings, growing relationships, discussions and readings to me that has grown and got me thinking and ready for each next step!
Whether that is a conversation with a searching teenager, an apathetic hurting 14 yr old, an angry and confused lad, a goofy carefree teammate, or a challenge to be better and more responsible by my fellow workers I can meet them and learn from them.
God is good and has given me a lot to look at and think on, and people to enjoy the ride with. I love discussions, and that is what I wanted to bring in my experience here. I want to talk, learn think and discuss all facets of life, being as real as possible and as open as I can be in my thoughts to people so that I am clear and transparent.
I am excited in the now 4!!! months that I have had to learn names, stories, and personalities that I get to call friends here. I know that the next step to come will be another great opportunity to grow, learn and challenge myself with. I want to help ppl challenge their views. To grow, to grow up, to grow in wisdom, to grow in the LORD. If i can help enact that all glory to God. I just want to be a vessel used for purposes beyond myself.
I have loved learning more about Christ, how the world thinks and how I should think and challenge the world with the Love and Truth of Christ the Creator Crucified. It is humbling and just the thoughts and growth I have prayed for. Now to graft into life continuing in the states during this break and plans for the future as well!
Drop me a line!! Let me discuss with you! What is new in your life? What is challenging you?
God Bless. Merry Christmas time!! Remember that the Creator became Immanuel, God with us, in this time, and changed human history forever!
Bryan, Bmilla, Bmill, Millsy, Miller, Mill, B, Bruce, Bry, Mighty Mouse, and hopefully also a growing servant of our Lord Jesus Christ.
:):):)
Lenses
I am pretty blind. Many people have not seen me without my contacts in, but I wear them and need them. It is how I am able to see, what allows me to drive legally and be involved with the world around me. Sight is active and for me to be active I have to have lenses that correct and shape the world around me so I can see it.
There is another word that is a lens that I am encountering more and more. This lens has a synonym, Worldview. A worldview is defined as: the fundamental cognitive orientation of an individual or society encompassing natural philosophy; fundamental existential and normative postulates; or themes, values, emotions, and ethics. Additionally, it refers to the framework of ideas and beliefs through which an individual interprets the world and interacts with it.
The framework of ideas and beliefs through which an individual interprets the world and interacts with it. An all encompassing philosophy that manifests itself in action and interaction with the world around you. A lens that you see things as and then helps shape how you act and what you think about.
I see today and people with worldviews and lenses that are supposedly carefree and freedom giving. But digging into these thoughts and extrapolating the lenses to their base premise or furthest extent lends to an interesting path. What worldviews do you see around you? In the youth you see or have?
I see so little Hope, and so much self. Freedom comes from thinking free of "old" stuff or "religion" or a BCE (cause Before Christ is too much) thought process. You must not have this thought, but be free..... to have OUR thought.
Come join our worldview, you did not even know that you were us but you KNOW that your not them. So come, speak up, look at us as free and thinkers and judge everything by your circumstances. Or I just see apathy and anger, it should not be this way, and if you say it is God's world and life is this way, forget that. Reason and human thought, science are the grounds for everything. But we have been taught and told this and that is all I know. Even so much as I do not care about your thoughts as long as it is not "religious." Life is relative, nothing is concrete, except what you can see, feel and quantitate.
The problem comes in with a need for a cornerstone, a basis to lean on. Circumstances change, everyday something new happens. You cannot control what will happen to you in the next instance, it is beyond you because it is affected by others. If my circumstance is ok and yours is ok, you do what you do and I'll do mine how does that work? What happens when conflict happens in worldviews and circumstances, who is right and where do you turn but self? And isn't there more than just seeing and quantitative aspects of life. Feelings go deeper than brain chemicals to me... and affects of life around me go beyond physical. And arguments can be counter productive but at some point someone is wrong correct? There is so much more... I need a cornerstone and want to have clear vision on things.
Absolutes are missing in this world. Are there absolutes? I think there has to be at the base level. Circumstances can throw a wrench in how you think about absolutes and what that means to hold to a Truth, but where is hope anchored to if all is relative and bound to change and struggle.
I am learning and seeing worldviews around me, ones similar to my own, some that are close in some areas and different in others, some that are diametrically opposed to mine, and some so apathetic to mine or others they fall in their own category. But I do want mine to be challenged, to think, to learn to grow into a mature worldview and perspective. Spouting my ideas in all reality mean nothing because it is just as valid as yours at the maximum if it is only my personal values morals and ethics. But if i am challenged in mine as well as grafting in something that is beyond me, that claims Truth, then either that will have authority and bearing on my thoughts or it is wrong and i will be on the wrong path. Things are clearer, in a crazy way.
For me I lean, trust, and experience the Hope that is grounded in the Truth of the BIBLE. It claims to be the Living Word of God. If it is and i trust it then I feel I will be shaped by it and my worldview has an anchor to grow from. If it is not true, then I will find that out at somepoint, but I choose to hold fast to it and experience all that it has to offer and teach, as well as experience.
I dont want to be that horse. Now that it is Christmas time you see the horse taxi and sleighs. There are always beautiful creatures doing a great and fun purpose. But they are necessarily blindered. They have blinders and are led in the path from behind. Their lenses are blurry. I want to be challenged, grown, and firm in my training, thought and belief in Christ, his Word and Truth that I am more like a police horse. A trained and regimented but ultimately freer entity that will react and follow well when necessary. I would have clear lenses, sight and readiness, a freedom to continue and move.
So often we do not challenge and look to think on and grow in our lives and thought processes. We must! Looking, discussing, learning, listening and challenging is how you grow and take hold of Truth. Sometimes digging will lead us to see the cornerstone to which we hold, I pray that when it is found it is something you want to follow, because you have been following it for a long time then.
How will you challenge yourself to challenge think and see how your thoughts, values and morality plays out? Does it match up to what you want it to? What you think it does? What Christ says to value? What will lead you to freedom and life?
Get that contact solution out and unblurr your lenses. If you dont then you may get so used to having blurry sight that you forget that sight can be anything different.
There is another word that is a lens that I am encountering more and more. This lens has a synonym, Worldview. A worldview is defined as: the fundamental cognitive orientation of an individual or society encompassing natural philosophy; fundamental existential and normative postulates; or themes, values, emotions, and ethics. Additionally, it refers to the framework of ideas and beliefs through which an individual interprets the world and interacts with it.
The framework of ideas and beliefs through which an individual interprets the world and interacts with it. An all encompassing philosophy that manifests itself in action and interaction with the world around you. A lens that you see things as and then helps shape how you act and what you think about.
I see today and people with worldviews and lenses that are supposedly carefree and freedom giving. But digging into these thoughts and extrapolating the lenses to their base premise or furthest extent lends to an interesting path. What worldviews do you see around you? In the youth you see or have?
I see so little Hope, and so much self. Freedom comes from thinking free of "old" stuff or "religion" or a BCE (cause Before Christ is too much) thought process. You must not have this thought, but be free..... to have OUR thought.
Come join our worldview, you did not even know that you were us but you KNOW that your not them. So come, speak up, look at us as free and thinkers and judge everything by your circumstances. Or I just see apathy and anger, it should not be this way, and if you say it is God's world and life is this way, forget that. Reason and human thought, science are the grounds for everything. But we have been taught and told this and that is all I know. Even so much as I do not care about your thoughts as long as it is not "religious." Life is relative, nothing is concrete, except what you can see, feel and quantitate.
The problem comes in with a need for a cornerstone, a basis to lean on. Circumstances change, everyday something new happens. You cannot control what will happen to you in the next instance, it is beyond you because it is affected by others. If my circumstance is ok and yours is ok, you do what you do and I'll do mine how does that work? What happens when conflict happens in worldviews and circumstances, who is right and where do you turn but self? And isn't there more than just seeing and quantitative aspects of life. Feelings go deeper than brain chemicals to me... and affects of life around me go beyond physical. And arguments can be counter productive but at some point someone is wrong correct? There is so much more... I need a cornerstone and want to have clear vision on things.
Absolutes are missing in this world. Are there absolutes? I think there has to be at the base level. Circumstances can throw a wrench in how you think about absolutes and what that means to hold to a Truth, but where is hope anchored to if all is relative and bound to change and struggle.
I am learning and seeing worldviews around me, ones similar to my own, some that are close in some areas and different in others, some that are diametrically opposed to mine, and some so apathetic to mine or others they fall in their own category. But I do want mine to be challenged, to think, to learn to grow into a mature worldview and perspective. Spouting my ideas in all reality mean nothing because it is just as valid as yours at the maximum if it is only my personal values morals and ethics. But if i am challenged in mine as well as grafting in something that is beyond me, that claims Truth, then either that will have authority and bearing on my thoughts or it is wrong and i will be on the wrong path. Things are clearer, in a crazy way.
For me I lean, trust, and experience the Hope that is grounded in the Truth of the BIBLE. It claims to be the Living Word of God. If it is and i trust it then I feel I will be shaped by it and my worldview has an anchor to grow from. If it is not true, then I will find that out at somepoint, but I choose to hold fast to it and experience all that it has to offer and teach, as well as experience.
I dont want to be that horse. Now that it is Christmas time you see the horse taxi and sleighs. There are always beautiful creatures doing a great and fun purpose. But they are necessarily blindered. They have blinders and are led in the path from behind. Their lenses are blurry. I want to be challenged, grown, and firm in my training, thought and belief in Christ, his Word and Truth that I am more like a police horse. A trained and regimented but ultimately freer entity that will react and follow well when necessary. I would have clear lenses, sight and readiness, a freedom to continue and move.
So often we do not challenge and look to think on and grow in our lives and thought processes. We must! Looking, discussing, learning, listening and challenging is how you grow and take hold of Truth. Sometimes digging will lead us to see the cornerstone to which we hold, I pray that when it is found it is something you want to follow, because you have been following it for a long time then.
How will you challenge yourself to challenge think and see how your thoughts, values and morality plays out? Does it match up to what you want it to? What you think it does? What Christ says to value? What will lead you to freedom and life?
Get that contact solution out and unblurr your lenses. If you dont then you may get so used to having blurry sight that you forget that sight can be anything different.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Overdue: Mindset and actions vs the good stuff
Hey all, cannot believe that it has been 3 weeks since i last tickled the keyboard to COMPLETE a blog post. I have started a couple posts and just wanted them to be real good, deep and challenging to myself and others. I.E. I started them and then 'ran out of time' or lost the focus on what I was thinking i wanted to say and just trashed them, or saved them to drafts (who finishes or remember if you have drafts written anyway ;p).
So In a bit of a light-hearted mindset and a time to think on and evaluate the whole process we tend to do things, or not do things. Promise I will finish this post :)
There have been quite a bit of good things going on here at Murlough and in Dundrum and Newcastle since I last posted. I have gotten to know the guys and girls a lot better at Crosspoint and enjoy my interactions and the conversations and reality of circumstances that we often share. We have been hanging out with the crew after school on Tuesdays, started a younger group of jr-highers on Monday afternoon in addition to Wednesdays Discussion night. Creation/evolution and football with the Guys and bible study/girls night hangout for the girls that hang out.
Football (soccer) has gone really well the past month. I have gotten back into game shape, started the last 4 games with the first team and have 3 goals and 3 or so assists. Praising God for the ability to continue to play and have more and more opportunities for people to know me, what I am about and why even while running up the mountain or doing sprints i can be smiling and encouraging. God is good.
We have also taken time as a group here at Murlough to focus on God and teaching, uplifting and learning from eachother as we grow in faith, a group unity and trust in God's Truth. The ultimate Truth. We have meetings every Tuesday where we get a Bible teaching alongside updates from all the aspects, and Thursdays are teaching times where we are going through Francis Schaeffer's "How then shall we live?" videos about thought, history and philosophy and that held up next to the Word. It has been great.
There has been many instances where it does not work out perfectly, and conflict or conversations are necessary or planning needs to be enacted or done better. It is in these times I start reflecting and thinking. Always a dangerous combination ;)
Mindset. Attitude. The lens you see a situation. Look at different quotes about attitude or mindset and it is interesting. It can come to a point where will of attitude seems to shift things. Here are two random examples from an attitude quote site.
The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.
- William James
The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.
- Eric Hoffer
But there are often times that I sit back and think about the circumstances and how your attitude and mindset can shape the reaction and subsequent actions in a major way. If we do get into ourselves and think selfishly as the Hoffer quote says the whole of the instance is negative and can spiral negatively.
Case in point, I had a situation where one of the guys had been increasingly annoying and vocal in his dissent to anything I tried to do and help with. Trying to act within grace and the fruits of Galatians 5 into practice without slipping into the fruits of human, sinful nature, can get hard. But on any given day, how your attitude is at the moment of confrontation your reaction ends up doing a lot. I tried to allow grace and let boys be boys, but as the annoyance and buildup of frustration with him explode I tried to control the situation. It was not done especially well, I felt I acted close to within my bounds to start, but as the egging on continued and I felt i had asserted the upper hand my mindset shifted and I spoke out of place and made the situation much worse. I left that day in thought and trying to figure why I felt the mix of emotion of kinda right but very out of place as far as the end result and actions. My attitude was well out of place and my selfishness allowed me to act out in fruit contrary to what I want to strive for each and everyday.
I have always been a positive person. Uber-optimist. The glass should always be half-ful right? It is a gift from God and one that I am shocked at in myself sometimes, but I am also FULLY HUMAN and am far often "turned inward upon myself" as C.S. Lewis states. Even if i want to quantify it as only looking inward upon myself looking in the mirror, its still selfishness that leads to sin. So when people ask HOW can you be so positive, or not everyone can be positive so often as you, or thanks I needed that optimism etc. Its humbling cause I know its not from me, and it is exciting to know that the TRUST, HOPE, FAITH comes from Christ. It makes me want to hold onto that in my attitude and mindset.
But I know it comes with a choice. I love that I had to/tried to/semi succeeded in memorizing Colossians 3. Because Paul tells of an ACTIVE choice, a mindset, an attitude that you THEREFORE must do. Therefore means, we should because Christ has, or God is. So I try to keep in mind and pray that you do the same- Put to death the earthly nature that corrupts and makes us spiral downward and Put on, clothe, take out of your closet and wear for others to see the fruit of the Spirit that comes from continually choosing to trust God and look to share his truths and let the Sovereign God handle the big picture.
Are there circumstances in your life that are over your head, people pushing buttons beyond your breaking point? Busyness and time that keep you from doing/dwelling on the good stuff? Try to control your attitude, enact change and go for it. I believe that William James quote up there IS true, but it NEEDS Christ to help us come through on the positive side of that. So if needed- Stop, take a deep breath, breathe a prayer to God to help out, and FIGHT against the feelings and attitude at the moment, put it to death, and clothe yourself (even if it is only socks and shorts, cause that's a start), with the selfless attitude of Christ and see how it turns out!
Meanwhile I am gonna try to keep on smiling laughing and trusting in the One who has given me much, see how far it takes me and how hard I have to fight to keep that at the forefront. But I am also going to be thankful that it has helped me and that others wonder if it is possible too.
God bless, SMILE, Laugh and Love.
So In a bit of a light-hearted mindset and a time to think on and evaluate the whole process we tend to do things, or not do things. Promise I will finish this post :)
There have been quite a bit of good things going on here at Murlough and in Dundrum and Newcastle since I last posted. I have gotten to know the guys and girls a lot better at Crosspoint and enjoy my interactions and the conversations and reality of circumstances that we often share. We have been hanging out with the crew after school on Tuesdays, started a younger group of jr-highers on Monday afternoon in addition to Wednesdays Discussion night. Creation/evolution and football with the Guys and bible study/girls night hangout for the girls that hang out.
Football (soccer) has gone really well the past month. I have gotten back into game shape, started the last 4 games with the first team and have 3 goals and 3 or so assists. Praising God for the ability to continue to play and have more and more opportunities for people to know me, what I am about and why even while running up the mountain or doing sprints i can be smiling and encouraging. God is good.
We have also taken time as a group here at Murlough to focus on God and teaching, uplifting and learning from eachother as we grow in faith, a group unity and trust in God's Truth. The ultimate Truth. We have meetings every Tuesday where we get a Bible teaching alongside updates from all the aspects, and Thursdays are teaching times where we are going through Francis Schaeffer's "How then shall we live?" videos about thought, history and philosophy and that held up next to the Word. It has been great.
There has been many instances where it does not work out perfectly, and conflict or conversations are necessary or planning needs to be enacted or done better. It is in these times I start reflecting and thinking. Always a dangerous combination ;)
Mindset. Attitude. The lens you see a situation. Look at different quotes about attitude or mindset and it is interesting. It can come to a point where will of attitude seems to shift things. Here are two random examples from an attitude quote site.
The greatest discovery of our generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. As you think, so shall you be.
- William James
The remarkable thing is that we really love our neighbor as ourselves: we do unto others as we do unto ourselves. We hate others when we hate ourselves. We are tolerant toward others when we tolerate ourselves. We forgive others when we forgive ourselves. We are prone to sacrifice others when we are ready to sacrifice ourselves.
- Eric Hoffer
But there are often times that I sit back and think about the circumstances and how your attitude and mindset can shape the reaction and subsequent actions in a major way. If we do get into ourselves and think selfishly as the Hoffer quote says the whole of the instance is negative and can spiral negatively.
Case in point, I had a situation where one of the guys had been increasingly annoying and vocal in his dissent to anything I tried to do and help with. Trying to act within grace and the fruits of Galatians 5 into practice without slipping into the fruits of human, sinful nature, can get hard. But on any given day, how your attitude is at the moment of confrontation your reaction ends up doing a lot. I tried to allow grace and let boys be boys, but as the annoyance and buildup of frustration with him explode I tried to control the situation. It was not done especially well, I felt I acted close to within my bounds to start, but as the egging on continued and I felt i had asserted the upper hand my mindset shifted and I spoke out of place and made the situation much worse. I left that day in thought and trying to figure why I felt the mix of emotion of kinda right but very out of place as far as the end result and actions. My attitude was well out of place and my selfishness allowed me to act out in fruit contrary to what I want to strive for each and everyday.
I have always been a positive person. Uber-optimist. The glass should always be half-ful right? It is a gift from God and one that I am shocked at in myself sometimes, but I am also FULLY HUMAN and am far often "turned inward upon myself" as C.S. Lewis states. Even if i want to quantify it as only looking inward upon myself looking in the mirror, its still selfishness that leads to sin. So when people ask HOW can you be so positive, or not everyone can be positive so often as you, or thanks I needed that optimism etc. Its humbling cause I know its not from me, and it is exciting to know that the TRUST, HOPE, FAITH comes from Christ. It makes me want to hold onto that in my attitude and mindset.
But I know it comes with a choice. I love that I had to/tried to/semi succeeded in memorizing Colossians 3. Because Paul tells of an ACTIVE choice, a mindset, an attitude that you THEREFORE must do. Therefore means, we should because Christ has, or God is. So I try to keep in mind and pray that you do the same- Put to death the earthly nature that corrupts and makes us spiral downward and Put on, clothe, take out of your closet and wear for others to see the fruit of the Spirit that comes from continually choosing to trust God and look to share his truths and let the Sovereign God handle the big picture.
Are there circumstances in your life that are over your head, people pushing buttons beyond your breaking point? Busyness and time that keep you from doing/dwelling on the good stuff? Try to control your attitude, enact change and go for it. I believe that William James quote up there IS true, but it NEEDS Christ to help us come through on the positive side of that. So if needed- Stop, take a deep breath, breathe a prayer to God to help out, and FIGHT against the feelings and attitude at the moment, put it to death, and clothe yourself (even if it is only socks and shorts, cause that's a start), with the selfless attitude of Christ and see how it turns out!
Meanwhile I am gonna try to keep on smiling laughing and trusting in the One who has given me much, see how far it takes me and how hard I have to fight to keep that at the forefront. But I am also going to be thankful that it has helped me and that others wonder if it is possible too.
God bless, SMILE, Laugh and Love.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Time and Certainty
Time flies. There is not another thing that is constant but time and how fast it can seem to go. Well that is a bold statement and I know that i would be corrected around here for saying such a general or flippant statement. I love the people around Murlough, and how they help me speak words that are forward and true and I am joked about the literal/figurative or possibilites within each sentence.
It is LATE septemeber. And life is crazy here. John Moxen has now been in the Hospital for almost a month after a minor stroke and problems with his heart. Thoughts of transition and contemplation on the future of this place and leadership have interwoven with continuing about the daily ministry here. It has left a tiring and interesting place where communication comes and goes and leaves it incomplete. I ask for your prayers for John, his heart (literally and figuratively as he longs to further grow Murlough, even at the expense of his body), for Murlough and her vision and movement for Christ.
We all long for clarity and certainty in this word. But we are not promised our next moment let alone the plans down the road. This is a hard thought for us humans to dwell on. But I am planning this! and it will happen! and i will make it happen. I am certain of this. We may say this but it doesnt make it fact, or true. True things remain, and the Bible says there are only three things that remain, Faith, Hope, and LOVE, the greatest is Love. The fact is that none deals with certainty. Love remains, but at its core it is trusting in something that can be uncertain.
Love can go beyond reason and make things that should not be sure, ring true. It is actually an illogical trust in someone or something that defies base reason. When you love and love fully and selflessly it goes beyond circumstance and is not held down by expectations or time constraints or other aspects and obstacles.
Love DOES.
Love IS.
God is love and his love for us is poured out into us and this world. But our fallen and busy and selfish selves distorts things and when we choose one to another the uncertainty can reign. But when Love is, and love is acting above any constraints, it transforms beyond certainty into reality.
Faith is trusting in the unseen and believing in things hoped for. No certainty there. But it transforms so much and permeates all that we do. You have faith that you will not get in an accident on the way to the grocery store or you have faith that THIS time someone will show up on time. But faith as how you live and hold fast to it changes how you interact and gives you an optimistic outlook even in times of uncertainty. Faith in Christ and his Love and Grace transforms so much into who you are and how you interact. It goes beyond the reason of growth or a thought process into who you are.
Trust, a pact in which you enter in where you assume the other party will keep their end of the bargain. Where uncertainty can reign but goodness comes out of allowing all to work out as it will.
These are my thoughts and uncertainty can flood so much and I hate that. But i want to hold fast to the stuff that rings true and firm amidst the uncertainty. I've found none other than Jesus Christ, His love, His Word, and all that comes with believing that I am fallen and selfish and need a savior and Jesus Died for me so that i am experience things beyond this world and the time and uncertainty that come with it.
It is LATE septemeber. And life is crazy here. John Moxen has now been in the Hospital for almost a month after a minor stroke and problems with his heart. Thoughts of transition and contemplation on the future of this place and leadership have interwoven with continuing about the daily ministry here. It has left a tiring and interesting place where communication comes and goes and leaves it incomplete. I ask for your prayers for John, his heart (literally and figuratively as he longs to further grow Murlough, even at the expense of his body), for Murlough and her vision and movement for Christ.
We all long for clarity and certainty in this word. But we are not promised our next moment let alone the plans down the road. This is a hard thought for us humans to dwell on. But I am planning this! and it will happen! and i will make it happen. I am certain of this. We may say this but it doesnt make it fact, or true. True things remain, and the Bible says there are only three things that remain, Faith, Hope, and LOVE, the greatest is Love. The fact is that none deals with certainty. Love remains, but at its core it is trusting in something that can be uncertain.
Love can go beyond reason and make things that should not be sure, ring true. It is actually an illogical trust in someone or something that defies base reason. When you love and love fully and selflessly it goes beyond circumstance and is not held down by expectations or time constraints or other aspects and obstacles.
Love DOES.
Love IS.
God is love and his love for us is poured out into us and this world. But our fallen and busy and selfish selves distorts things and when we choose one to another the uncertainty can reign. But when Love is, and love is acting above any constraints, it transforms beyond certainty into reality.
Faith is trusting in the unseen and believing in things hoped for. No certainty there. But it transforms so much and permeates all that we do. You have faith that you will not get in an accident on the way to the grocery store or you have faith that THIS time someone will show up on time. But faith as how you live and hold fast to it changes how you interact and gives you an optimistic outlook even in times of uncertainty. Faith in Christ and his Love and Grace transforms so much into who you are and how you interact. It goes beyond the reason of growth or a thought process into who you are.
Trust, a pact in which you enter in where you assume the other party will keep their end of the bargain. Where uncertainty can reign but goodness comes out of allowing all to work out as it will.
These are my thoughts and uncertainty can flood so much and I hate that. But i want to hold fast to the stuff that rings true and firm amidst the uncertainty. I've found none other than Jesus Christ, His love, His Word, and all that comes with believing that I am fallen and selfish and need a savior and Jesus Died for me so that i am experience things beyond this world and the time and uncertainty that come with it.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Quick Update
Hey all!!! I hope your last week or so has found you doing well, possibly adjusting to the fall-ish weather. Or getting into the groove of school or other work as 2010 continues to march on!
My last week has been great. Last tuesday Richie Shilliday came back from his honeymoon with his wife Jen and has helped kickstart things around the Murlough House. Cleaning, and planning and getting the first activities started back in the community here in Dundrum.
Primarily I will be working with Richie, Jen, and the other intern living here at Murlough, Jess at the community drop in center called Crosspoint. I will be growing in relationships with these kids that make it a regular place to visit, hang out and be loved on for who they are.
Most of these Northern Irish are in high school, which if i understand right is about our 7th or 8th grade through 12th. But I could be wrong because I think there are like P7 levels or something. Still getting the hang of it all over here. Especially when they call math, Mazz, still gets me slightly confused :)
So an after school drop in for homework and a kick of the soccer ball one day, and a separate day for guys and girls small groups. I will be helping with the guys on Wednesdays with a bible study/discussion program and then playing soccer with them later in the night. So it will be a Bible and Balls type of day! Cannot imagine much better than that.
The girls have after school stuff on Thursdays and then Friday night is the drop in from 730-late night. Just the availability of a place that is safer and more loving than the cinemas or bars or clubs that can be fun but damaging as well.
SO we get to look out for get to know, and converse with these guys and girls in a consistent manner and look forward to seeing how God moves in their lives. We get to be open and willing to help and love wherever we can. Most of these kids are Catholic so it is a bit different at times but still a great ministry of Christ's love at the forefront since we are "protestant" or Christian, just not cathoic but we are still loving on them without judgement.
Will also look to possibly be involved with a Presbyterian church or baptist church in newcastle from time to time. The goal of Murlough House is also to partner with Churches in the are to help engage the youth and culture of today. Not necessarily modernize but equip and see where the Church can be more effective and active in their realm.
It has been a great week and I am looking forward to the busyness, planning and lesson planning which seems outside my forte at times but still beneficial for my growth and challenging myself. Which is a big part of what all this experience is about.
Praise God for his goodness, his opportunity but most often his LOVE, which transforms everything. I read 1 Corinthians 3 today and i really do love Pauls words on how one should hope the ministry is continued. "What after all is Apollos? And what is Paul? ONLY SERVANTS through whom you came to believe- as the Lord has assigned each his own task. I may have planted, Apollos watered it, but ONLY GOD who makes things Grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have ONE PURPOSE, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. we are fellow workers.
May we each be able to DO our assigned task, to it well, with Christ's love over all and God's power carrying it to fruition, to accomplish HIS will.
My last week has been great. Last tuesday Richie Shilliday came back from his honeymoon with his wife Jen and has helped kickstart things around the Murlough House. Cleaning, and planning and getting the first activities started back in the community here in Dundrum.
Primarily I will be working with Richie, Jen, and the other intern living here at Murlough, Jess at the community drop in center called Crosspoint. I will be growing in relationships with these kids that make it a regular place to visit, hang out and be loved on for who they are.
Most of these Northern Irish are in high school, which if i understand right is about our 7th or 8th grade through 12th. But I could be wrong because I think there are like P7 levels or something. Still getting the hang of it all over here. Especially when they call math, Mazz, still gets me slightly confused :)
So an after school drop in for homework and a kick of the soccer ball one day, and a separate day for guys and girls small groups. I will be helping with the guys on Wednesdays with a bible study/discussion program and then playing soccer with them later in the night. So it will be a Bible and Balls type of day! Cannot imagine much better than that.
The girls have after school stuff on Thursdays and then Friday night is the drop in from 730-late night. Just the availability of a place that is safer and more loving than the cinemas or bars or clubs that can be fun but damaging as well.
SO we get to look out for get to know, and converse with these guys and girls in a consistent manner and look forward to seeing how God moves in their lives. We get to be open and willing to help and love wherever we can. Most of these kids are Catholic so it is a bit different at times but still a great ministry of Christ's love at the forefront since we are "protestant" or Christian, just not cathoic but we are still loving on them without judgement.
Will also look to possibly be involved with a Presbyterian church or baptist church in newcastle from time to time. The goal of Murlough House is also to partner with Churches in the are to help engage the youth and culture of today. Not necessarily modernize but equip and see where the Church can be more effective and active in their realm.
It has been a great week and I am looking forward to the busyness, planning and lesson planning which seems outside my forte at times but still beneficial for my growth and challenging myself. Which is a big part of what all this experience is about.
Praise God for his goodness, his opportunity but most often his LOVE, which transforms everything. I read 1 Corinthians 3 today and i really do love Pauls words on how one should hope the ministry is continued. "What after all is Apollos? And what is Paul? ONLY SERVANTS through whom you came to believe- as the Lord has assigned each his own task. I may have planted, Apollos watered it, but ONLY GOD who makes things Grow. The man who plants and the man who waters have ONE PURPOSE, and each will be rewarded according to his own labor. we are fellow workers.
May we each be able to DO our assigned task, to it well, with Christ's love over all and God's power carrying it to fruition, to accomplish HIS will.
Monday, August 30, 2010
Walk in the Dark
Time for a different kind of blog update. A throwback if you will to the early "Convos" style where I get into a thinking mode and write out a more deeper entry than the what have I been doing. Hope to intersperse these along with weekly (hopefully sooner than that) updates about life here at Murlough.
So this one is an entry that I wrote down after a walk before I left the states where I was able to tie in a lot of the experience of a normal situation to how life and faith sometimes works.
It is amazing to walk a path in the light and in the dark. The dichotomy between them is striking yet telling.
In the light, you get to see the beauty and majesty of what is around you. You get to take in the sights and sound and soak in what all the senses allow. It's more of a peaceful and simple time whether you are alone or with good company. Life moves at a different pace and the ups and downs of the terrain are not obstacles but adventures and aspects that make you smile. The destination is in sight and a joy to behold, yet you can look back and appreciate just what you accomplished and have conquered.
But how often does the light fade and all that is around drops to dusk and then to dark, though you may be confident in the path you tread, the superfluous and extraneous details fade into the blackness. You and maybe others may worry about the journey as in the different light, yet you truest that you know the path well and you have enough tools to make it through. You can be offered help, take it or set out with what you have, some may even say, "go another way" or "are you sure the path is your way?" but deep down you know that you will be able to succeed.
So you pause and catch your breath and set out along the path before you. As your eyes adjust to the world around you, the path and the two steps in front of you become your focal point.
The first step always seems to be the hardest, since your eyes are not fully adjusted and your mind begins to focus on what you are about to challenge. But the first step does not slow you, you set out to get where you want, where you need to go. You stand and face a path you think you know, but the path is now foreign and new.
As your heartbeat quickens and your eyes are now focused on the path unfolding in front of you a feeling comes over you. Whether it is the knowledge you have, the experience gained or the tools at your disposal, you are able to find and keep near and along the narrow path.
Now about the path. It will shift and change, it rolls and weaves, giving you different footings and feels. the change can be abrupt or gentile still, but that should not shift your focus on the end result. The path is already set, not for you to change or blaze alone but to follow and trust it will get you home. The hills in front of you change your step and make you focus solely on the next two steps. You climb and then hurdle obstacles in the way, but knowing the pace at which you should stay. Beware the path is set but you cannot see far enough ahead to trust a sprint or jump will actually succeed.
So this cadence you start to set, with the knowledge that equal pacing will allow you to feel your way along the path with confidence. Your pace helps you feel out the changes around you to explore with more than just your sense of sight. You start to truly feel where the path may jump up, jut out or abruptly change and necessitates moving with focus and skill. The speed which you go can be set by yourself, but often times you find the terrain and the path itself sets your pace. But all around you are clues to help you safely navigate, everything combines to support forward movement.
Whether knowledge of the path itself or the tools you have been given, there are weapons allowed to assist your journey. It could be something to light the way; a cell phone, watch, flashlight, lantern or a candle as your assistance, but all are able to help. Since all have to do with sight and where the ability to see and the path meet they are your weapons against the darkness. You may clamor for a flashlight when all you have is a watch, but a watch will do if you trust it through. Light, any light casts out darkness and illuminates the path or obstacle in your way. So your tool, your weapon pairs with your sight to move along the path.
There will be times you can only look down and illuminate your feet, seeing only the very closest aspects of the path. Not being able to see or focus on anything but each step and the immediacy of the path, unable to fixate towards your goal. Sometimes you shine up ahead of you, along the path, as you trust your feet and look forward with anticipation what the path will bring next. You are able to see where the path bends and moves and focus on a new horizon, previously shielded in the darkness. Your trust in your feet and how you can move along the path is rewarded as you adjust and connect the dots from your feet to the path and to the next step. At other times you may have to use your light and sight to evaluate the obstacles you feel and sense around you. Making sure that a blind or forceful blazing of the trail will not lead to injury or ruin. You may continue to trust your feet and the solidity of the path before you but you see and determine how to attack the obstacles that line and effect the path. It may be branches that you search both low and high to determine if you can plow through, break apart or simply avoid. Some may encounter logs and stones which necessitates a hurdle or a side-step or even a meandering climb over it.
Other times still you will be smacked in the leg or bumped in the side by an obstacle that you did not see well enough. You may underestimate what it takes to surpass the challenge and find yourself scrambling to your feet to outdue it. But a stumble and fall or a slip does not disqualify you from continuing your journey, it is but just another reminder to press on and do not make the mistake again. For even a simple branch can smack you across the face if arrogance causes you to misidentify and underestimate the path before you. Sometimes a smack in the face or a bruised shin is exactly what you need to continue along the path, able to respect and move forward along the path.
There will come a time where the scanning, prepping, anticipating, and reacting become commonplace. A routine and cadence settles in and the path, though difficult is manageable and your trust is rewarded. These times you are allowed to enjoy the journey for what it is, reflect on where you have come from and look ahead to the next challenge, even with some anticipation.
But even after the routine settles in, a wayward branch can still do damage. A limb here or a jutting rock there can catch you and humble your brain and actions. Shaking your head at the silliness to expect things to sail smoothly and redoubling your efforts with a smile on your face.
Continuing as before you notice something new about the path. Your senses and thoughts go beyond what is in front of you and evaluate the bigger picture of the path. It is actually well kept as some points, there are rough edges or rocky slopes but also a smooth path, or rocks lined to help you along your way. As if either outside forces or those that have gone before took time to assist YOU on the journey. Modifications and improvements allow you easier tread and the rough path becomes almost a lane. Times may pass and you can see light streaming in. As if others are wanting, assisting and willing you to succeed. Some have put lights near the path to illuminate it all, intentionally helping you along your way. Still others have lights only for themselves but the radiance given off still allows you more sight and less darkness as you travel. This selfish light of others still affords you benefit and makes your own way clearer. It is almost as if the path or the path maker conspires to help and challenge you at the same time to progress. The confidence you have that others have completed the journey lifts your spirit as well. The lamppost is a marker to you and an encouragement to continue along your way, asking you to trust what you will finish the same way.
As all these parts of the journey along the path mingle and mesh, the end becomes nearer and nearer still. Before you know it you have reached sight of your goal. The path you've tread completes itself and welcomes you to your destination. You know exactly where to turn, and the next steps you take into total safety and beauty. It may lead to another different path, it may ask you to stop and rest or it may be your final destination, but the darkened path finds you through and to a different place. The aspects and intricacies you have traversed lead you onward and upward with confidence growing and planted deep within you. No matter the next stage you have accomplished something and seen it for it is. You have made it through the dark, leaving with skills and senses challenged and honed for your continued journey. You are able to return to the daylight and look back at what you have accomplished and finished. You swell with satisfaction and humble pride at how it all was finished. Then you turn with a smile, look forward and know that you are able.
You continue, in the light of glorious day.
So this one is an entry that I wrote down after a walk before I left the states where I was able to tie in a lot of the experience of a normal situation to how life and faith sometimes works.
It is amazing to walk a path in the light and in the dark. The dichotomy between them is striking yet telling.
In the light, you get to see the beauty and majesty of what is around you. You get to take in the sights and sound and soak in what all the senses allow. It's more of a peaceful and simple time whether you are alone or with good company. Life moves at a different pace and the ups and downs of the terrain are not obstacles but adventures and aspects that make you smile. The destination is in sight and a joy to behold, yet you can look back and appreciate just what you accomplished and have conquered.
But how often does the light fade and all that is around drops to dusk and then to dark, though you may be confident in the path you tread, the superfluous and extraneous details fade into the blackness. You and maybe others may worry about the journey as in the different light, yet you truest that you know the path well and you have enough tools to make it through. You can be offered help, take it or set out with what you have, some may even say, "go another way" or "are you sure the path is your way?" but deep down you know that you will be able to succeed.
So you pause and catch your breath and set out along the path before you. As your eyes adjust to the world around you, the path and the two steps in front of you become your focal point.
The first step always seems to be the hardest, since your eyes are not fully adjusted and your mind begins to focus on what you are about to challenge. But the first step does not slow you, you set out to get where you want, where you need to go. You stand and face a path you think you know, but the path is now foreign and new.
As your heartbeat quickens and your eyes are now focused on the path unfolding in front of you a feeling comes over you. Whether it is the knowledge you have, the experience gained or the tools at your disposal, you are able to find and keep near and along the narrow path.
Now about the path. It will shift and change, it rolls and weaves, giving you different footings and feels. the change can be abrupt or gentile still, but that should not shift your focus on the end result. The path is already set, not for you to change or blaze alone but to follow and trust it will get you home. The hills in front of you change your step and make you focus solely on the next two steps. You climb and then hurdle obstacles in the way, but knowing the pace at which you should stay. Beware the path is set but you cannot see far enough ahead to trust a sprint or jump will actually succeed.
So this cadence you start to set, with the knowledge that equal pacing will allow you to feel your way along the path with confidence. Your pace helps you feel out the changes around you to explore with more than just your sense of sight. You start to truly feel where the path may jump up, jut out or abruptly change and necessitates moving with focus and skill. The speed which you go can be set by yourself, but often times you find the terrain and the path itself sets your pace. But all around you are clues to help you safely navigate, everything combines to support forward movement.
Whether knowledge of the path itself or the tools you have been given, there are weapons allowed to assist your journey. It could be something to light the way; a cell phone, watch, flashlight, lantern or a candle as your assistance, but all are able to help. Since all have to do with sight and where the ability to see and the path meet they are your weapons against the darkness. You may clamor for a flashlight when all you have is a watch, but a watch will do if you trust it through. Light, any light casts out darkness and illuminates the path or obstacle in your way. So your tool, your weapon pairs with your sight to move along the path.
There will be times you can only look down and illuminate your feet, seeing only the very closest aspects of the path. Not being able to see or focus on anything but each step and the immediacy of the path, unable to fixate towards your goal. Sometimes you shine up ahead of you, along the path, as you trust your feet and look forward with anticipation what the path will bring next. You are able to see where the path bends and moves and focus on a new horizon, previously shielded in the darkness. Your trust in your feet and how you can move along the path is rewarded as you adjust and connect the dots from your feet to the path and to the next step. At other times you may have to use your light and sight to evaluate the obstacles you feel and sense around you. Making sure that a blind or forceful blazing of the trail will not lead to injury or ruin. You may continue to trust your feet and the solidity of the path before you but you see and determine how to attack the obstacles that line and effect the path. It may be branches that you search both low and high to determine if you can plow through, break apart or simply avoid. Some may encounter logs and stones which necessitates a hurdle or a side-step or even a meandering climb over it.
Other times still you will be smacked in the leg or bumped in the side by an obstacle that you did not see well enough. You may underestimate what it takes to surpass the challenge and find yourself scrambling to your feet to outdue it. But a stumble and fall or a slip does not disqualify you from continuing your journey, it is but just another reminder to press on and do not make the mistake again. For even a simple branch can smack you across the face if arrogance causes you to misidentify and underestimate the path before you. Sometimes a smack in the face or a bruised shin is exactly what you need to continue along the path, able to respect and move forward along the path.
There will come a time where the scanning, prepping, anticipating, and reacting become commonplace. A routine and cadence settles in and the path, though difficult is manageable and your trust is rewarded. These times you are allowed to enjoy the journey for what it is, reflect on where you have come from and look ahead to the next challenge, even with some anticipation.
But even after the routine settles in, a wayward branch can still do damage. A limb here or a jutting rock there can catch you and humble your brain and actions. Shaking your head at the silliness to expect things to sail smoothly and redoubling your efforts with a smile on your face.
Continuing as before you notice something new about the path. Your senses and thoughts go beyond what is in front of you and evaluate the bigger picture of the path. It is actually well kept as some points, there are rough edges or rocky slopes but also a smooth path, or rocks lined to help you along your way. As if either outside forces or those that have gone before took time to assist YOU on the journey. Modifications and improvements allow you easier tread and the rough path becomes almost a lane. Times may pass and you can see light streaming in. As if others are wanting, assisting and willing you to succeed. Some have put lights near the path to illuminate it all, intentionally helping you along your way. Still others have lights only for themselves but the radiance given off still allows you more sight and less darkness as you travel. This selfish light of others still affords you benefit and makes your own way clearer. It is almost as if the path or the path maker conspires to help and challenge you at the same time to progress. The confidence you have that others have completed the journey lifts your spirit as well. The lamppost is a marker to you and an encouragement to continue along your way, asking you to trust what you will finish the same way.
As all these parts of the journey along the path mingle and mesh, the end becomes nearer and nearer still. Before you know it you have reached sight of your goal. The path you've tread completes itself and welcomes you to your destination. You know exactly where to turn, and the next steps you take into total safety and beauty. It may lead to another different path, it may ask you to stop and rest or it may be your final destination, but the darkened path finds you through and to a different place. The aspects and intricacies you have traversed lead you onward and upward with confidence growing and planted deep within you. No matter the next stage you have accomplished something and seen it for it is. You have made it through the dark, leaving with skills and senses challenged and honed for your continued journey. You are able to return to the daylight and look back at what you have accomplished and finished. You swell with satisfaction and humble pride at how it all was finished. Then you turn with a smile, look forward and know that you are able.
You continue, in the light of glorious day.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Weekend of settling in
Hey all!!
I cannot believe it has been now over a full week since I have been at the Murlough House. Actually I can, but it is interesting to think that at this point in my past two trips here I would be prepping to leave by Thursday or so. But now I am looking forward another week or two in expectation because then I will get more into the meat of what I am going to be doing!
This weekend was good, but slow. Being an intern that is here early and not having a car to get around or others to go around with makes life a little different. There is a team from Chicago, 5 of them who are great, Josh, Sara, Dave, Courtney and Silvia, but they rented a car and it only has 5 seats so I am not able to gallivant around with them too often.
So I planned on saturday to ride a bike that is here into Newcastle and explore, get some money and see how life happens in town. But as evening came and I started to get the bike I realized there were some problems, the tires were low and I had no bike pump or bike lock to store it either. So the evening was spent looking around for everything and I did get it pumped with the help of some passing biker/hikers (GOD is cool how he can help out). But at that point it was pretty dark so I didnt end up going. That left me the evening to settle in, realize I am here! and that I am alright with being here, even on my own. That will change and people and busyness will ensue but I am glad i am able to be here and settle in and be fine with reading searching and being chill here.
I will most likely long for a medium between this and my busyness! But God works still and he is great and the slowness and aloneness is not as bad as i feared it would feel. Still not my favorite but i have prayers being lifted up for me, people who want to be with me and opportunities coming up in front of me. For that I am thankful!
Sunday church was excellent, went to Downpatrick Baptist and heard a guest speaker in teh one room church that help about 30 people. Based on John 14 and connecting the I AM the way statements and John 14:14 where he says I will give you anything you ask. The snares that can come of taking that verse out of context and how when we look at it as helping Jesus show the world the Father and that HE is the way, anything we ask will be given, so that we may do EVEN MORE than Jesus did in his time on earth. Incredible stuff, and to boot he had pyrotechnics in the sermon. We memorized Hebrews 1:3 with 11 volunteers and flaming napkins. Trust me, it was tight. Then I was taken to the Church of Ireland service with John Moxen. A small liturgical service. But a place where John is excited about me being able to make inroads and help disciple and grow the congregation. It is cool to be seen as a part, and a big part of that possibility.
So I eagerly wait for more opportunity and pray for courage and ability to just go into town and start to meet the boys and men of Dundrum and see where God takes it and how to continue to be a light and a part of the Murlough House.
So there is my check in for now! God is good, I am smiling and ready for more!! More time and more goodness and more hard stuff to break through!
Until next time!
Bryan
I cannot believe it has been now over a full week since I have been at the Murlough House. Actually I can, but it is interesting to think that at this point in my past two trips here I would be prepping to leave by Thursday or so. But now I am looking forward another week or two in expectation because then I will get more into the meat of what I am going to be doing!
This weekend was good, but slow. Being an intern that is here early and not having a car to get around or others to go around with makes life a little different. There is a team from Chicago, 5 of them who are great, Josh, Sara, Dave, Courtney and Silvia, but they rented a car and it only has 5 seats so I am not able to gallivant around with them too often.
So I planned on saturday to ride a bike that is here into Newcastle and explore, get some money and see how life happens in town. But as evening came and I started to get the bike I realized there were some problems, the tires were low and I had no bike pump or bike lock to store it either. So the evening was spent looking around for everything and I did get it pumped with the help of some passing biker/hikers (GOD is cool how he can help out). But at that point it was pretty dark so I didnt end up going. That left me the evening to settle in, realize I am here! and that I am alright with being here, even on my own. That will change and people and busyness will ensue but I am glad i am able to be here and settle in and be fine with reading searching and being chill here.
I will most likely long for a medium between this and my busyness! But God works still and he is great and the slowness and aloneness is not as bad as i feared it would feel. Still not my favorite but i have prayers being lifted up for me, people who want to be with me and opportunities coming up in front of me. For that I am thankful!
Sunday church was excellent, went to Downpatrick Baptist and heard a guest speaker in teh one room church that help about 30 people. Based on John 14 and connecting the I AM the way statements and John 14:14 where he says I will give you anything you ask. The snares that can come of taking that verse out of context and how when we look at it as helping Jesus show the world the Father and that HE is the way, anything we ask will be given, so that we may do EVEN MORE than Jesus did in his time on earth. Incredible stuff, and to boot he had pyrotechnics in the sermon. We memorized Hebrews 1:3 with 11 volunteers and flaming napkins. Trust me, it was tight. Then I was taken to the Church of Ireland service with John Moxen. A small liturgical service. But a place where John is excited about me being able to make inroads and help disciple and grow the congregation. It is cool to be seen as a part, and a big part of that possibility.
So I eagerly wait for more opportunity and pray for courage and ability to just go into town and start to meet the boys and men of Dundrum and see where God takes it and how to continue to be a light and a part of the Murlough House.
So there is my check in for now! God is good, I am smiling and ready for more!! More time and more goodness and more hard stuff to break through!
Until next time!
Bryan
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Starting Days!
Monday 16th -Wednesday August 18th
I'll update you on my journey and first couple days here at Murlough House so you can have a bit of the experience of my start to this part of my adventure.
Monday I got off the plane at about 7am and got through customs alright. This was the first hurdle to climb as there should not have been a problem, but there is always the possibility of delay and trouble when customs and traveling abroad is in the mix. I told them I would be staying four months and he responded that you can only be about 90 days as the maximum, then I told him that I would be in Northern Ireland and he stated oh fine then and just wrote on my stamp Northern Ireland and allowed me to enter! I have no idea if that is how it is supposed to happen, but I left praising God and pumped that step one of my journey on the Emerald Isle was complete.
Next I collected my bags and looked to find the bus that would take me to Newry, Northern Ireland and allow me to get connected with the person picking me up from the Murlough House. So I carted my massive bags and found the correct bus stop and saw that the next bus arrived in 20 min. So I rushed back to find a phone to call the House to let them know which bus I was headed in on. After a nice delay of trying to figure out the country, area, and correct codes to put in, the operator and I finally got a hold of John at his home (since the Murlough phones were down) and it was settled.
So I hopped on the public transportation and went through the Irish countryside into Newry. Collected my bags and found a place to settle in and wait for my unknown contact to arrive. So this was about 10-1030am local time and such 430am Chicago time and I had gotten about one hour of sleep on the plane. So excitement, some disbelief and expectation mixed with a tired body made it an interesting time of thought with myself. Dave, a pastor from Chicago who is with a group of 5 people serving at the Murlough House, picked me up and we enjoyed talking about me and who I am, why I am headed into the House and enjoying the beauty and GREEN and lushness of Northern Ireland.
So I got in and was told I might as well get to bed, but my body cried for two things, food and sleep. The first of which was food, since I never really got a breakfast cept the snack croissant on the plane many hours before. I was in about an hour before lunch (called dinner over here) so I wandered around the property and went down the path to the beach and said hey to the North Sea, and spent some time with God. Talking with him in words like WOAH, I am here, I am here for 4 months, thats a long time, I don't know anyone really, this is gonna be hard sometimes, can I handle this?? Most talks oscillated between joy and excitement and the immensity of the experience as a whole, with the knowledge that I will be challenged and challenged well, in the best ways. So with worship music in my ear and a talk with God in my head I came back for lunch and to get started moving forward with the day by day activities of the Murlough House and my journey here.
So after I was greated by the 30 or so N.I. Youth that are here for the week I wandered sleepy-eyed to the meal room to have some Shepard's pie and bread, along with squash (juice). As soon as that hit my stomach and I had cleaned my plate it was off to my bunk for a nap.
I got a few good hours of sleep while the youth played music and danced to Justin Bieber and Ke$ha and other fun music that I did know about. My body didnt care and so I slept through it for the most part. I awoke and caught the tale end of the boys and some girls messing around with a soccer ball so I was able to have some fun with 2 or 3 of the kids and start to get to know them and they enjoyed learning my name, saying Hey Bryan, and I like your beard and starting to ask me questions about Americans and our speech.
Then came dinner and a time to help a little with the cleanup and more chatting with the youth. Then I also got to sit in for a time of teaching with John Moxen on Song of Songs. It was a good session but I was a bit tired and was my droopy eyes kept me from fully focusing on the message.
From there I was able to get online and update facebook, the blog, talk to my mom and girlfriend and hear of how my little brother was doing at precamp for Taylor's soccer team. It was a needed outlet of normalcy and comfort that I cried out for. It was a reassuring and strengthening time from which I could move forward and be excited about getting to know those around me and get ready for my first full day and getting into the routine. So afterwords I went into the room where the Chicagoans were playing a game and joined in. It was a good time of random questions and some with deep thoughts, sounds like a perfect game for me EH!? So that was grand and then I went up and hit the sack.
Twas time to catch up on sleep and that I did. From the possibility of helping set up and have breakfast as my thoughts of what I was going to do, it went to going back to sleep. From knowing that my job includes daily chores after breakfast, I slept through that as well. To prepping for lunch, well I was able to get up just in time to get into line for lunch. I ended up sleeping 13 hours and woke up to start my first full day, which had turned into a full-ish day since my Tuesday started at 1:30.
But from there it was fantastic. I was able to help with cleanup and meandered out to see what the youth had in store for the day. They had a afternoon of competition and such with a wall rock climb and archery and a teambuilding obstacle course. I was out taking pics of the House in the sunshine and was drafted into team Puss in Boots (from shrek) and climbed the rock wall a couple times and went to shoot archery with them and just chat and laugh with these great kids about 12-15 yrs old mostly. It has been great fun to chat and laugh and talk about American and Irish accents and life and sports. I was a mild celebrity from the beard and accent the moment I walked through the door. (didnt hurt that I started singing along to the songs as soon as I woke up Mon afternoon)
So that great, but I had received a message from Richie, who I'll work closest with, about starting to train with the soccer team I will be playing with and that Tues and Thurs form 7-9 would be a start. So I got the number and was able to call and leave a message that afternoon and received a call back about coming out and playing. So that all was worked out and I found a ride into Newcastle to good ole Donard Park, the sight I had done camps the first time I came here with TU soccer in 2005. From there I met a couple of the guys and the manager and jumped into asking names and kicking the ball around. Felt great to get into a warmup and training session again. I just smiled and nervously jumped in, but soon I was having a blast, able to make jokes and feel my way into what I love doing. We did corners and a small sided game.
Again I was able to look around at this basic but beautiful pitch at the foot of the Mourne Mountains next to the sea and just THANK GOD!! for the opportunity to be doing this. I smiled and laughed knowing I would be able to do this for the next coming months. I signed a form for the manager and am ready to be officially part of the Tolleymore United Football Club. Heck yeah! The first team has a game Wednesday night that I think I will go watch and see the boys I hopeflly will be able to play with come the season starts in september. But the reserve team I trained with was a good bunch of younger lads, prolly high school through college age. I'd say 17-20 or so.
Was a great night and the only hitch was that when I was to be picked up by a few of the Chicagoans, they were late because of a burn injury from hot coffee. But the manager who had trained us was from Dundrum and offered me a lift back. So I got back to the gate and started to walk the last mile or half mile to the House. Able to soak in the evening sky and cattle and Nature Reserve that the House is next to and thank God for this incredible opportunity. Joy fills my heart and all I could think was the Psalm Taste and SEE (know, experience) that the LORD is good, His love endures forever!
A fantastic start to this internship period where God me and people around me help grow me into who and what he is leading me towards!
I'll update you on my journey and first couple days here at Murlough House so you can have a bit of the experience of my start to this part of my adventure.
Monday I got off the plane at about 7am and got through customs alright. This was the first hurdle to climb as there should not have been a problem, but there is always the possibility of delay and trouble when customs and traveling abroad is in the mix. I told them I would be staying four months and he responded that you can only be about 90 days as the maximum, then I told him that I would be in Northern Ireland and he stated oh fine then and just wrote on my stamp Northern Ireland and allowed me to enter! I have no idea if that is how it is supposed to happen, but I left praising God and pumped that step one of my journey on the Emerald Isle was complete.
Next I collected my bags and looked to find the bus that would take me to Newry, Northern Ireland and allow me to get connected with the person picking me up from the Murlough House. So I carted my massive bags and found the correct bus stop and saw that the next bus arrived in 20 min. So I rushed back to find a phone to call the House to let them know which bus I was headed in on. After a nice delay of trying to figure out the country, area, and correct codes to put in, the operator and I finally got a hold of John at his home (since the Murlough phones were down) and it was settled.
So I hopped on the public transportation and went through the Irish countryside into Newry. Collected my bags and found a place to settle in and wait for my unknown contact to arrive. So this was about 10-1030am local time and such 430am Chicago time and I had gotten about one hour of sleep on the plane. So excitement, some disbelief and expectation mixed with a tired body made it an interesting time of thought with myself. Dave, a pastor from Chicago who is with a group of 5 people serving at the Murlough House, picked me up and we enjoyed talking about me and who I am, why I am headed into the House and enjoying the beauty and GREEN and lushness of Northern Ireland.
So I got in and was told I might as well get to bed, but my body cried for two things, food and sleep. The first of which was food, since I never really got a breakfast cept the snack croissant on the plane many hours before. I was in about an hour before lunch (called dinner over here) so I wandered around the property and went down the path to the beach and said hey to the North Sea, and spent some time with God. Talking with him in words like WOAH, I am here, I am here for 4 months, thats a long time, I don't know anyone really, this is gonna be hard sometimes, can I handle this?? Most talks oscillated between joy and excitement and the immensity of the experience as a whole, with the knowledge that I will be challenged and challenged well, in the best ways. So with worship music in my ear and a talk with God in my head I came back for lunch and to get started moving forward with the day by day activities of the Murlough House and my journey here.
So after I was greated by the 30 or so N.I. Youth that are here for the week I wandered sleepy-eyed to the meal room to have some Shepard's pie and bread, along with squash (juice). As soon as that hit my stomach and I had cleaned my plate it was off to my bunk for a nap.
I got a few good hours of sleep while the youth played music and danced to Justin Bieber and Ke$ha and other fun music that I did know about. My body didnt care and so I slept through it for the most part. I awoke and caught the tale end of the boys and some girls messing around with a soccer ball so I was able to have some fun with 2 or 3 of the kids and start to get to know them and they enjoyed learning my name, saying Hey Bryan, and I like your beard and starting to ask me questions about Americans and our speech.
Then came dinner and a time to help a little with the cleanup and more chatting with the youth. Then I also got to sit in for a time of teaching with John Moxen on Song of Songs. It was a good session but I was a bit tired and was my droopy eyes kept me from fully focusing on the message.
From there I was able to get online and update facebook, the blog, talk to my mom and girlfriend and hear of how my little brother was doing at precamp for Taylor's soccer team. It was a needed outlet of normalcy and comfort that I cried out for. It was a reassuring and strengthening time from which I could move forward and be excited about getting to know those around me and get ready for my first full day and getting into the routine. So afterwords I went into the room where the Chicagoans were playing a game and joined in. It was a good time of random questions and some with deep thoughts, sounds like a perfect game for me EH!? So that was grand and then I went up and hit the sack.
Twas time to catch up on sleep and that I did. From the possibility of helping set up and have breakfast as my thoughts of what I was going to do, it went to going back to sleep. From knowing that my job includes daily chores after breakfast, I slept through that as well. To prepping for lunch, well I was able to get up just in time to get into line for lunch. I ended up sleeping 13 hours and woke up to start my first full day, which had turned into a full-ish day since my Tuesday started at 1:30.
But from there it was fantastic. I was able to help with cleanup and meandered out to see what the youth had in store for the day. They had a afternoon of competition and such with a wall rock climb and archery and a teambuilding obstacle course. I was out taking pics of the House in the sunshine and was drafted into team Puss in Boots (from shrek) and climbed the rock wall a couple times and went to shoot archery with them and just chat and laugh with these great kids about 12-15 yrs old mostly. It has been great fun to chat and laugh and talk about American and Irish accents and life and sports. I was a mild celebrity from the beard and accent the moment I walked through the door. (didnt hurt that I started singing along to the songs as soon as I woke up Mon afternoon)
So that great, but I had received a message from Richie, who I'll work closest with, about starting to train with the soccer team I will be playing with and that Tues and Thurs form 7-9 would be a start. So I got the number and was able to call and leave a message that afternoon and received a call back about coming out and playing. So that all was worked out and I found a ride into Newcastle to good ole Donard Park, the sight I had done camps the first time I came here with TU soccer in 2005. From there I met a couple of the guys and the manager and jumped into asking names and kicking the ball around. Felt great to get into a warmup and training session again. I just smiled and nervously jumped in, but soon I was having a blast, able to make jokes and feel my way into what I love doing. We did corners and a small sided game.
Again I was able to look around at this basic but beautiful pitch at the foot of the Mourne Mountains next to the sea and just THANK GOD!! for the opportunity to be doing this. I smiled and laughed knowing I would be able to do this for the next coming months. I signed a form for the manager and am ready to be officially part of the Tolleymore United Football Club. Heck yeah! The first team has a game Wednesday night that I think I will go watch and see the boys I hopeflly will be able to play with come the season starts in september. But the reserve team I trained with was a good bunch of younger lads, prolly high school through college age. I'd say 17-20 or so.
Was a great night and the only hitch was that when I was to be picked up by a few of the Chicagoans, they were late because of a burn injury from hot coffee. But the manager who had trained us was from Dundrum and offered me a lift back. So I got back to the gate and started to walk the last mile or half mile to the House. Able to soak in the evening sky and cattle and Nature Reserve that the House is next to and thank God for this incredible opportunity. Joy fills my heart and all I could think was the Psalm Taste and SEE (know, experience) that the LORD is good, His love endures forever!
A fantastic start to this internship period where God me and people around me help grow me into who and what he is leading me towards!
Monday, August 16, 2010
YEAH, lets have a good Craic at it
I am here! made it through the trip and the public bus in Ireland and was picked up fine and all systems are GO!!!
God is good, so begins the journey, now to recover and settle in and let GOD move from here, i just hope that i have the strength to continue daily! His way or now way!!!
Love you all
Bry
God is good, so begins the journey, now to recover and settle in and let GOD move from here, i just hope that i have the strength to continue daily! His way or now way!!!
Love you all
Bry
Thursday, August 12, 2010
So It begins
IT IS HERE!
I am sitting here astounded that I am hours away from leaving the midwest to skip across the pond to Northern Ireland! I mean going from 95 degree weather to 65 will not be to bad, and playing soccer with some Irish lads will be fantastic.
But I am most excited about what God is going to bring about and the instances and people I will be able to interact with. Seeing how God will move me and those around me to take an even better look at HIM.
If you have looked at my blog before and been like sheesh he only writes once a month if your lucky, that will change. I am looking forward to letting you know what is going on and how things are going and my random thoughts about life and God pretty consistently.
Your always welcome to email me at TUBMILL3@gmail.com and I do have skype as well! find me on facebook or just say hey on the blog or stop by my webpage that has more information about Project Evangelism and the possibility of supporting me in prayer and monetarily! that can be found at http://independentmissionary.com/site/missionaries/miller
AWWW SNAP!!! lets get it going.
Thanks for all the support, encouragement and prayer that i already have had and know will continue to have. You all are incredible and I thank God for you.
Sincerely Bryan
Bmill
I am sitting here astounded that I am hours away from leaving the midwest to skip across the pond to Northern Ireland! I mean going from 95 degree weather to 65 will not be to bad, and playing soccer with some Irish lads will be fantastic.
But I am most excited about what God is going to bring about and the instances and people I will be able to interact with. Seeing how God will move me and those around me to take an even better look at HIM.
If you have looked at my blog before and been like sheesh he only writes once a month if your lucky, that will change. I am looking forward to letting you know what is going on and how things are going and my random thoughts about life and God pretty consistently.
Your always welcome to email me at TUBMILL3@gmail.com and I do have skype as well! find me on facebook or just say hey on the blog or stop by my webpage that has more information about Project Evangelism and the possibility of supporting me in prayer and monetarily! that can be found at http://independentmissionary.com/site/missionaries/miller
AWWW SNAP!!! lets get it going.
Thanks for all the support, encouragement and prayer that i already have had and know will continue to have. You all are incredible and I thank God for you.
Sincerely Bryan
Bmill
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Anticipating What is to Come
Hmmmm what about today, what about tomorrow? What about next month. Normal questions that you ask yourself and others ask you.
For me these questions become heightened and intensified as August approaches. August brings change, adventure and new beginnings. God's continued work in my life and the journey He brings me along starts a new chapter. I am headed from the home that Champaign has become and Wheaton continues to be to Northern Ireland. Its beyond changing zip codes or states, but a trip across the pond.
Back to a place where God started a change in me, where he helped me evaluate what my talents gifts and possibilities include. I consider it incredible that over the last 6 years God has taken me to 3 continents, 5 short term missions trips and grown me as a soccer player and a man in ways i never thought possible.
Today I was commissioned by my home church. Glen Ellyn Bible Church. To stand up and feel the support and presence of people who have helped shape me and believe in me was awesome and humbling.
This journey is so exciting and crazy and the closer it comes the more excited i get. To be able to talk about this opportunity with friends and more so excite myself in the possibilities God has in store is one of the best things to experience.
I long to see what God can do through a goofball like me, because He has done so much already and it is for HIS Glory. Whether this whole thing becomes what is fully possible or just a bag of goodness hardship and growth, i will rejoice in the fact that it is what is happening.
So for now i am in the stage of anticipation, of looking forward expectantly to see how my life will be radically changed in a short period of time. To have people so excited for my opportunity is so great and humbling, so i thank you and look forward to keeping up with you and help you get more glimpses into my brain and what God does inside it and share the conversations that occur within and around me!
God is good, and I enjoy seeing more and more of His goodness through people and opportunities as well as the Word. So I leave you with a passage that is on the back of the shirt of the Murlough House to where I am headed again, and to find this verse and its message now is great!
Ephesians 1:11&12 It is in CHRIST that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, (!) part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone
Amen and Amen, Anticipating finding out who I am and what i fully long to live for, and loving the possibility of continuing the journey to find that out soon!
For me these questions become heightened and intensified as August approaches. August brings change, adventure and new beginnings. God's continued work in my life and the journey He brings me along starts a new chapter. I am headed from the home that Champaign has become and Wheaton continues to be to Northern Ireland. Its beyond changing zip codes or states, but a trip across the pond.
Back to a place where God started a change in me, where he helped me evaluate what my talents gifts and possibilities include. I consider it incredible that over the last 6 years God has taken me to 3 continents, 5 short term missions trips and grown me as a soccer player and a man in ways i never thought possible.
Today I was commissioned by my home church. Glen Ellyn Bible Church. To stand up and feel the support and presence of people who have helped shape me and believe in me was awesome and humbling.
This journey is so exciting and crazy and the closer it comes the more excited i get. To be able to talk about this opportunity with friends and more so excite myself in the possibilities God has in store is one of the best things to experience.
I long to see what God can do through a goofball like me, because He has done so much already and it is for HIS Glory. Whether this whole thing becomes what is fully possible or just a bag of goodness hardship and growth, i will rejoice in the fact that it is what is happening.
So for now i am in the stage of anticipation, of looking forward expectantly to see how my life will be radically changed in a short period of time. To have people so excited for my opportunity is so great and humbling, so i thank you and look forward to keeping up with you and help you get more glimpses into my brain and what God does inside it and share the conversations that occur within and around me!
God is good, and I enjoy seeing more and more of His goodness through people and opportunities as well as the Word. So I leave you with a passage that is on the back of the shirt of the Murlough House to where I am headed again, and to find this verse and its message now is great!
Ephesians 1:11&12 It is in CHRIST that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ He had His eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, (!) part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone
Amen and Amen, Anticipating finding out who I am and what i fully long to live for, and loving the possibility of continuing the journey to find that out soon!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Peace vs Certainty A semantic look
Semantics: The Art of Meaning Underneath Our Words
I have always been fascinated with the meaning of a person's words. The fact that what they say, and what they intend to mean often have differences, leading to telling insights.
One thing I enjoy about the ability to talk and converse with people is the sense of who they are when they are talking. You can see a lot about how they look at things in regards to what their tone, first words or word choice are. One of my favorites is to listen and think on the first word that comes after a reflective pause, as that can be a masked word, or a true and deep word.
What I mean is that a masked word is chosen carefully to allow a window in but does not tell the whole story, omitting importance or feeling behind it. Where a true and deep word can ring sincere and impactful, dripping with meaning that is hoped to be picked up.
So that is what I enjoy by listening to semantics. While thinking on how I enjoy this little aspect of communication I got to thinking about some ways we as the world, and as Christians like to talk and what we can really long for, or want to strive for versus what we feel and say we want. I think it is important to know the depth of what we want to go after. Not just to pay lip service to the ideas we have always heard but to think on these words and how with a subtle shift, we are led back to the One who completes all.
I think a big one that we (emerging adults as I was told we are) in the 20-30 range spend a lot of time thinking about what, if and how we can figure out if we are following God's will. A lot of times this comes with an unsettling feeling and a lot of questioning. What we often end up saying is that I want to have peace about what I am doing or where I am headed.
Ready? Here is the first example of a masked word. It is a trigger word we are supposed to say. Makes sense though right? It is a good thing to want peace isn't it? The problem is we use it in the wrong context. What we really are longing for and expecting is an overriding FEELING of certainty. Something that jumps out at us in our experience that says yup your right on. Hmm wonder how many times we get that feeling in any aspect of our lives? Let alone an abstract and overarching situation in which we are very subjective and quick to label one way or another.
Here is where my momma gave me one of the most fantastic comments ever to think on and wrestle with. “Everyone says they are searching for peace. But what they really are wanting is certainty. The problem is that we live in an uncertain world.” Alright, think on that for a bit. Dig deep and think of a time where you were sure of something. That is the feeling you want to experience again isn't it! Its a great feeling! But looking for that feeling again is hard, because we live in a world where it is rare.
Why is it rare, because we cannot control anything in this world! It is uncertain. Any semblance of control we have is fleeting and changes with the situations we encounter. It's why the recession is playing with so many peoples minds, and faith. Because what we thought was under our control was in all reality far out of our control. Scary thought, but when you think about it, its true. Can you control what the next interaction you will have and how it will happen exactly? Maybe once or twice but beyond that are circumstances beyond our control.
Alright, now that I have thoroughly brought you through the aspects of what we far to often use as a masked word, lets get back to the reality of the word Peace. Let us see what we can unlock from the simple word we know all that well and see if it can shift us back towards the one who has all the Power and authority. The one in who we long to be in tune with in the first place.
Peace-absence of mental anxiety, or a state of stillness silence or serenity. That is according to dictionary type of peace. Looking into a little more Biblical definitions you can see a bit of difference. Peace – (eirhnh) a state of untroubled tranquility, or a state of harmony and well being. And a little deeper in Pauline thought of peace of fellowship -”This is the personal peace which God gives to the individual through fellowship with the Lord, or through walking in concord with God with all known sin confessed and turned over to God’s grace” (Bible.org, Keathley).
Alright so peace in these definitions and my thought is a place absent of worry (untroubled tranquility) and a place where we are totally reliant on the Lord, trusting for his provision because we are walking with him.
That is definitely a different thought process and longing than just wanting to feel like things are under control. Peace is a position where we get which says WHATEVER happens and however I feel I will trust, and be fine with my surroundings because I know that God is with me and has taken care of things in advance!
It reminds me of James 4 where we are called to be at peace with our situation and allow God to work. 13-now listen you who say today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city spend a year there carry on business and make money. Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow! 15-Instead you ought to say, If it is the Lord's will we will live and do this or that. James is remarking on how we need to stay Christ focuses and see things as part of His plan and trust, be at peace with the situation you are in now as you eagerly look forward to what GOD will do in your life. Not necessarily what you will do next in your life.
We rest in the fact that this peace, not certainty is a different sort, a better sort, a more complete aspect that we should long for and focus on. John 14:27- Peace I leave with you; MY peace I give you. I do not give to you as the word gives . Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid!
So when you think about what is next in your life, the ups and downs of life and the struggle to follow after God in this relationship, think about the bigger picture of what God longs for you. Not striving for a fleeting contentment but a deeper and more incredible sort. Jesus' peace, one that is not of the world!
When we focus on this, everything falls into place and we are, wait for it! Shockingly at peace! When we step back and rely on him (which is dang hard) we find things come and go and our rock stands amidst an uncertain world. Our foundation holds while the world looking for certainty and the next good thing and feeling end up being washed away under foundations of sand.
So there is my semantic thoughts for just this topic. Peace vs certainty. Which one ends up sounding better to you?
Draw near, hold onto HIM and he will draw near to you, and his promises remain the same throughout all time.
I have always been fascinated with the meaning of a person's words. The fact that what they say, and what they intend to mean often have differences, leading to telling insights.
One thing I enjoy about the ability to talk and converse with people is the sense of who they are when they are talking. You can see a lot about how they look at things in regards to what their tone, first words or word choice are. One of my favorites is to listen and think on the first word that comes after a reflective pause, as that can be a masked word, or a true and deep word.
What I mean is that a masked word is chosen carefully to allow a window in but does not tell the whole story, omitting importance or feeling behind it. Where a true and deep word can ring sincere and impactful, dripping with meaning that is hoped to be picked up.
So that is what I enjoy by listening to semantics. While thinking on how I enjoy this little aspect of communication I got to thinking about some ways we as the world, and as Christians like to talk and what we can really long for, or want to strive for versus what we feel and say we want. I think it is important to know the depth of what we want to go after. Not just to pay lip service to the ideas we have always heard but to think on these words and how with a subtle shift, we are led back to the One who completes all.
I think a big one that we (emerging adults as I was told we are) in the 20-30 range spend a lot of time thinking about what, if and how we can figure out if we are following God's will. A lot of times this comes with an unsettling feeling and a lot of questioning. What we often end up saying is that I want to have peace about what I am doing or where I am headed.
Ready? Here is the first example of a masked word. It is a trigger word we are supposed to say. Makes sense though right? It is a good thing to want peace isn't it? The problem is we use it in the wrong context. What we really are longing for and expecting is an overriding FEELING of certainty. Something that jumps out at us in our experience that says yup your right on. Hmm wonder how many times we get that feeling in any aspect of our lives? Let alone an abstract and overarching situation in which we are very subjective and quick to label one way or another.
Here is where my momma gave me one of the most fantastic comments ever to think on and wrestle with. “Everyone says they are searching for peace. But what they really are wanting is certainty. The problem is that we live in an uncertain world.” Alright, think on that for a bit. Dig deep and think of a time where you were sure of something. That is the feeling you want to experience again isn't it! Its a great feeling! But looking for that feeling again is hard, because we live in a world where it is rare.
Why is it rare, because we cannot control anything in this world! It is uncertain. Any semblance of control we have is fleeting and changes with the situations we encounter. It's why the recession is playing with so many peoples minds, and faith. Because what we thought was under our control was in all reality far out of our control. Scary thought, but when you think about it, its true. Can you control what the next interaction you will have and how it will happen exactly? Maybe once or twice but beyond that are circumstances beyond our control.
Alright, now that I have thoroughly brought you through the aspects of what we far to often use as a masked word, lets get back to the reality of the word Peace. Let us see what we can unlock from the simple word we know all that well and see if it can shift us back towards the one who has all the Power and authority. The one in who we long to be in tune with in the first place.
Peace-absence of mental anxiety, or a state of stillness silence or serenity. That is according to dictionary type of peace. Looking into a little more Biblical definitions you can see a bit of difference. Peace – (eirhnh) a state of untroubled tranquility, or a state of harmony and well being. And a little deeper in Pauline thought of peace of fellowship -”This is the personal peace which God gives to the individual through fellowship with the Lord, or through walking in concord with God with all known sin confessed and turned over to God’s grace” (Bible.org, Keathley).
Alright so peace in these definitions and my thought is a place absent of worry (untroubled tranquility) and a place where we are totally reliant on the Lord, trusting for his provision because we are walking with him.
That is definitely a different thought process and longing than just wanting to feel like things are under control. Peace is a position where we get which says WHATEVER happens and however I feel I will trust, and be fine with my surroundings because I know that God is with me and has taken care of things in advance!
It reminds me of James 4 where we are called to be at peace with our situation and allow God to work. 13-now listen you who say today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city spend a year there carry on business and make money. Why you do not even know what will happen tomorrow! 15-Instead you ought to say, If it is the Lord's will we will live and do this or that. James is remarking on how we need to stay Christ focuses and see things as part of His plan and trust, be at peace with the situation you are in now as you eagerly look forward to what GOD will do in your life. Not necessarily what you will do next in your life.
We rest in the fact that this peace, not certainty is a different sort, a better sort, a more complete aspect that we should long for and focus on. John 14:27- Peace I leave with you; MY peace I give you. I do not give to you as the word gives . Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid!
So when you think about what is next in your life, the ups and downs of life and the struggle to follow after God in this relationship, think about the bigger picture of what God longs for you. Not striving for a fleeting contentment but a deeper and more incredible sort. Jesus' peace, one that is not of the world!
When we focus on this, everything falls into place and we are, wait for it! Shockingly at peace! When we step back and rely on him (which is dang hard) we find things come and go and our rock stands amidst an uncertain world. Our foundation holds while the world looking for certainty and the next good thing and feeling end up being washed away under foundations of sand.
So there is my semantic thoughts for just this topic. Peace vs certainty. Which one ends up sounding better to you?
Draw near, hold onto HIM and he will draw near to you, and his promises remain the same throughout all time.
Friday, March 12, 2010
My journey to be Stupid for the Lord's sake
There are times when the battle is all to well laid out in front of you. You can sense it, feel it and just live it. Your heart longs, yearns and calls out for one thing, and the world, sometimes logic and busyness fight back to call your attention away. How often are you stoked after a good worship session, a great time in the word, or with friends only to be attacked, become inevitably busy, and have your mind completely taken off what you just wanted so much so to hold on to.
I am annoyed at the more common occurrence of this phenomenon. But I will take solace in the fact that it is happening...that my heart is yearning more and more for something true and right. So much so that the enemy looks to attack quickly to make sure my heart is not focused on the light, and on the fight.
The thing is- I WANT TO BE STUPID FOR JESUS CHRIST. I want to continue at a pace and into a journey where the world, my friends and a lot of the people around me have to ask "really?? your just going to go and do what?" and "arent you worried about X, or Y or Z?" and I hope to continue, and my heart longs to be in a position to smile, say you betcha, i cant think of any other way to do this thing!
Its why my heart and body gets pumped when I sing a song about giving it all to HIM, about letting go and trusting fully in surrender the one who has paid it ALL for me. It is why when i first hear a song with lyrics like "May Your love become my every thought. I want to know the sound of Your heart. I want to live for You now." I just get so excited and my heart wells up inside me.
It is why when i actually sit and dwell and think about what the God of the universe did FOR ME, i smile and just cant say much because it is to great and ridiculous. How when i think on HIS love, i know everything else will fall into place.
It is the position i want myself and my heart to be in, but this selfishness and disease in me will fight to draw me away from the goodness that is searching after what my true heart desires. Its is why i need to continue to build up my guard, and people around me to encourage and uplift me when i need it. It is why I look for opportunities and places to increase my necessity to rely on HIM, and the strength of THE MIGHTY ONE rather than my ability to "be good".
It is why I am excited about the possibility of going to a place where i can challenge myself daily, get away from everything and be with him and do his work in front of my face. It is why i long to challenge myself by going overseas for a year. If you dont know about that possibility ask me, I would love to get more stoked about the possibility HE has for me.
This love, and the life he is transforming and person the Father is creating is so great, and crazy. I just want it to continue. Especially if and most likely it means that I get to be Stupid in the eyes of the world to follow the one who has given me more than i ever thought possible.
I am annoyed at the more common occurrence of this phenomenon. But I will take solace in the fact that it is happening...that my heart is yearning more and more for something true and right. So much so that the enemy looks to attack quickly to make sure my heart is not focused on the light, and on the fight.
The thing is- I WANT TO BE STUPID FOR JESUS CHRIST. I want to continue at a pace and into a journey where the world, my friends and a lot of the people around me have to ask "really?? your just going to go and do what?" and "arent you worried about X, or Y or Z?" and I hope to continue, and my heart longs to be in a position to smile, say you betcha, i cant think of any other way to do this thing!
Its why my heart and body gets pumped when I sing a song about giving it all to HIM, about letting go and trusting fully in surrender the one who has paid it ALL for me. It is why when i first hear a song with lyrics like "May Your love become my every thought. I want to know the sound of Your heart. I want to live for You now." I just get so excited and my heart wells up inside me.
It is why when i actually sit and dwell and think about what the God of the universe did FOR ME, i smile and just cant say much because it is to great and ridiculous. How when i think on HIS love, i know everything else will fall into place.
It is the position i want myself and my heart to be in, but this selfishness and disease in me will fight to draw me away from the goodness that is searching after what my true heart desires. Its is why i need to continue to build up my guard, and people around me to encourage and uplift me when i need it. It is why I look for opportunities and places to increase my necessity to rely on HIM, and the strength of THE MIGHTY ONE rather than my ability to "be good".
It is why I am excited about the possibility of going to a place where i can challenge myself daily, get away from everything and be with him and do his work in front of my face. It is why i long to challenge myself by going overseas for a year. If you dont know about that possibility ask me, I would love to get more stoked about the possibility HE has for me.
This love, and the life he is transforming and person the Father is creating is so great, and crazy. I just want it to continue. Especially if and most likely it means that I get to be Stupid in the eyes of the world to follow the one who has given me more than i ever thought possible.
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